Thanks strip.com looks good,
I did another test transaction now, (auto return off), and it marked complete immediately after payment (i.e. before getting "paypal join us and the paypal post pay page). works fine now.
If I understand correctly, that's something the paypal support did, and part of the setting process is asking them do that (she actually said "oh that's something we set..., now I understand what she refereed to)
Thanks again for all the help
Guy